Bitter Patter
  • Home
  • Barely Recipes
  • What I'm Reading
  • What I'm Listening To
  • What I'm Knitting

On Finding Oneself (Gag)

4/11/2011

3 Comments

 
Picture
I've always felt a sense of unease when I've heard people, particularly adults, talk about "finding themselves."  It seems a rather self-indulgent and stupid thing to do.  If you don't know who you are who the hell else does? 

Through the ups and downs of a rocky marriage blessed with four children I have never said, "Gee, I just don't know who I am anymore."  I feel no different now that I am getting a divorce.  You won't find me signing up for martial arts classes or taking up sky diving.  I'm not going to move across the country, take up ballroom dancing (no partner), or learn Chinese.  I won't catch religion, get a belly-button ring or jump into an affair with a man half my age (or twice my age for that matter).  I KNOW who I am.  I always have.

I am Gail Devenney Ryan, fucking fierce and loving mother of four extraordinary sons.  (You can ask anyone, they are amazing.)  My sons adore me.  Good luck to the next girl. 

I have taught tens of children how to read, which I think is the next best thing to giving birth or breast feeding them.   

I am an outstanding cook who finds cooking after work relaxing.  I am a bad housekeeper but don't mind cleaning.

I gossip too much, drink moderately and smoke from time to time. 

I hate exercise but love the way I feel when I do it. 

I am a devoted daughter who is the best and worst of my mother and father.  My sister is my best friend, loudest cheerleader and most honest critic. 

I am independent.  I can do shit all by myself.  My dad did not raise a wimp.  I can drive a 30 foot motorhome and take four sons camping on my own.  I will learn how to change lightbulbs in high places and unclog toilets.  In fact, I'm looking forward to it.  And if I can't do it I'm completely comfortable batting my eyelashes and asking a friend to do it.

I worry, but not too much.  I prefer to solve problems (see above).

I love freely and deeply many, many people.  But if you mess with me too many times you are toast, never to return to my good graces.  I don't hold grudges, but when I'm done with someone I'm just....done.

I hate conflict.  Hate.  It.  I like a peaceful home.

I am deeply flawed, but I kind of like my flaws too. 

I don't consider myself modest, but I have a hard time taking a compliment.  I know what I am and what I am not.  I trust my opinion more than yours.

No tiger blood here.  No #winning.  Just me.  I'm okay.  I will be okay.  I can do this.  I can do this.

Now.  Do you know who you are?

3 Comments
Madelyn
4/11/2011 11:33:07 pm

Absolutely beautiful! I recently began following you on twitter (dancinwordsmith) and I think you are fantastic and strong and I aspire to that. Thanks for sharing!

Reply
tutuapp link
6/6/2024 01:59:42 am

The left lever on a handlebar typically operates the clutch on a motorcycle. In the context of bicycles, it often controls the front or left brake. However, the specific functions can vary depending on the type of vehicle.

Reply
Vidmate link
6/6/2024 02:00:16 am

"This isn't just a pen; it's a tool that captures your thoughts, ideas, and the essence of your creativity. It's sleek, reliable, and designed for those who appreciate the art of writing. With its smooth ink flow and comfortable grip, this pen isn't just an instrument; it's an extension of your expression. Whether you're jotting down notes in a meeting, signing important documents, or simply sketching your next big idea, this pen is crafted to complement your every move. Elevate your writing experience — it's not just a pen; it's a statement."

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Bitter Patter

    ..the mutterings of a mother of four, second grade teacher, avid reader,  knitter, enthusiastic cook and sometimes runner.  I'm every woman, baby.

    Picture

    Archives

    July 2014
    October 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    September 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    January 2011
    December 2010
    November 2010
    July 2010
    March 2010
    February 2010
    January 2010
    December 2009
    October 2009
    April 2009
    March 2009
    February 2009
    January 2009
    December 2008
    November 2008

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.